‘Twas three weeks before Christmas, and all through Vermont
We were so tired of the same Christmas schlock.
From Griswolds to Grinches to another Christmas Carol,
TV options were stale as a tin popcorn barrel.

And I on the couch, dog in my lap,
Had just settled in for some more Christmas crap,
When what to our wondering ears should appear
But rock-and-roll Santa spreading holiday cheer?

On, Swale! On, Matt Hagen! On, Kat Wright and Brett Hughes!
On, Wizards of Winter ripping metal riffs, too!
Here’s a John Denver tribute, plus Vince Guaraldi.
You love you some Nutcracker? Yeah, we’ve got that, times three.

Away to the box office I flew like a flash,
Tore open my wallet and threw down some cash.
What to do this yuletide? Friends, you’re in luck.
Here’s a sackful of holiday shows that don’t suck.